The embend link from YouTube and I have a difference of opinion on what it means..to work! (grrrr)
So please click here to see our adventure at the sandbox park.
I love how this window is just the right size for him right now. There will be a time when he looks at this little window and won't believe he could stand in it. Easily.
The hard part of trash day is post-pick up, when Victor wants to play with the trash cans, which are generally gross and stinky. And not just ours. The other day he walked through our yard, to the neighbors, pulled their trash can over and got inside. Yuck.
Once he can handle it a little better, we'll redirect this interest into a little business where he'll pull the trash out and return the cans for people. That would be better than just hanging out inside the cans.
We went to Como, North Carolina to visit Sarah's family -- it was a joy for us all. Victor loved the freedom to RUN RUN RUN and see tractors (!!!) I loved the quiet and the space that rural living brings. I also really loved getting to meet Sarah's family -- place names and faces together - and I loved how welcoming they were to me and Victor. I had 101 blog posts in my mind throughout the weekend - thoughts of traveling with toddlers, fun with kids in the woods, letting kids find their own fun, books and other thoughts - but like most times, alas, I didn't jot those ideas down (gotta get better at that).
This juggling business gets hard sometimes - and you have to let a couple things go here and there -- so posting has a little slow. But luckly for you, I have a bunch of photos to share.
Toddlerhood is a funny thing. Victor is a pretty good kid overall - of course he's a nuge here and there, but generally pretty fun. We've really come to understand that he needs a healthy dose of outside time each day. At night, after dinner and before bath, we've been going for a walk -- looking at the holiday lights and burning off any left over energy he has stored up. It seems like it's been a good routine for him. We have him on his kiddie leash so we can snatch him up easily when there are cars -- it's so dark and there are some chances I'm not willing to take. So kiddie leash it is. We look at the stars and the moon. Tonight we were trying to spot the international space station which was visible for 1 minute in our southern sky at 6:59 -- but if we saw it..we didn't know.
Victor loves to cook. He uses the pumpkin carving knives to chop bread, veggies or whatever he can get his hands on. He'll sneak over to the coffee maker and try to get coffee started too. Of course, coffee ends up more on the counter and floor - but his heart is in a good place. He did help me make the pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving - which was tons of fun. The hard part now is he wants to cook all the time -- and sometimes I don't need help or we're not cooking...we're trying to get ready for bed. I know before long, he'll understand there are times to cook and times we won't be doing that. I also know how important it was for me to be included in cooking when I was a kid -- I'm grateful for the extra effort my mom and grandma put out so that I could take part in cooking. I think we'll make cookies (slice and bake -- maybe homemade...maybe not) and I think he'll enjoy decorating them.
It's been a while -- but here are some things he loves -- and other things he would be happy to skip.
Loves --
Paci - also known as Baba
Going on top of grandma's bunk bed
Going to sleep with Daddy
Oatmeal that Mamma Hedy makes
Quesadillas -- also known as "dia"
Trains
Airplanes
Helicopters
Trucks
School buses
Climbing (after nap today he climbed out of the crib and opened the door to his room -- that was a surprise)
Flushing
Reading his airplane book (which is a guide to commercial aircraft -- with a photograph and a description of various airplanes - it's an adult book, but he looks at it every night)
Reading books in general
The poopy corner
Riding the car past the airport
Going to the park
Being outside
Being in the garage
Coffee (with milk and no sugar)
Screaming -- more like a dolphin call it's so high pitched.
Squeezing as much diaper creme as possible from the tube
French fries
Green beans from a can - not heated
Cranberry juice - also known as Dada milk
Dislikes
Having the diaper creme tube taken away
Going inside
Not be able to go outside
Being told no
Not being able to cook
Going to sleep without Daddy
Being put on the porch so he can scream if he feels like it outside
When his buddy Michael isn't home on our nightly walks
Well -- it seems like photos will be coming soon. Blogger is grumpy right now -- next post.
Summer is clicking along -- most days involving getting soaked while watering the plants, pulling off the diaper and then running around the house laughing...but enough about me (ha!)
Victor continues to transform before our eyes -- growing taller -- looking more and more like a little boy -- but still needing the tenderness of being little. (don't we all still want that really?)
We've all been working hard on being good at discipline -- like anticipating his needs, drawing a line & sticking to it (easier said than done at times) and being consistent with it all (as best you can with 3 adults coming in and out of the day).
Here's what we've learned so far.....
- Be calm -- remember not to take part in the childish behavior yourself by getting wild, angry, yelling, etc -- basically acting a lot like you would like him not to.
- Give him space -- if he's having a hard time -- sometimes I just leave him be. He can cry and kick and grump -- and I'm going to leave him alone. I've even walked him to the other room & said, you can be angry over here (vs. in the middle of the kitchen, in front of the stove, while I'm cooking dinner).
- He likes a dark room -- yesterday he came home in a grumpy mood. Nothing made him happy - and we tried it all. So I held his hand and walked him over to the half-bath we have downstairs & let him cry in there. Lights off, no one there to watch. Listening outside the door, once I heard the crying slow, I asked if he wanted to come out -- he looked at me and closed the door. I opened it for him and for the next 20 minutes he would come out and when he got overwhelmed (maybe all that news about the conflicts in Pakistan), he would walk himself back into the bathroom, shut the door and cry some more. Perhaps he really just wanted to have the plunger all to him self (some of the cool toddler-contra-band found the bathroom) but after a little while he seemed better.
- Pressure -- we learned from his early education teacher that he likes deep pressure -- so if he's having a hard time to give his legs and arms nice gentle but hard squeezes. Another suggestion was to make a Victor sandwich -- putting him between 2 large pillows and squish them together a bit. We tried it tonight and he did seem more relaxed. She said it helps to give them physical feedback & since he isn't really chatting it up yet, it helps give all that energy that might go into talking a place to go.
The pressure thing also made me think about the fact that we weened him in May and that when he was at long last completely weened -- he lost a lot of holding, snuggling and body contact time. Even if towards the end it wasn't a lot -- he still was getting a lot of touch time breastfeeding. Ah-ha -- even if we're not breastfeeding we still need to snuggle -- not rocket science but important for sure.
In other news -- I took the GRE last week (again -- last time was 1998) and I did ok -- good enough hopefully to go to library school. Getting the application together.....it's online...it's in-state....It will take me a long time, once class at a time....but it's all good!
We went to the water park for fun in the sun and it was a terrific day for it. Hot -- sunny -- not too crowded. Ahhhh. Waterpark bliss was had.
OK -- try to picture it -- there is a group of kid sized slide (under 52 inches). There are 3 of them -- the one in the middle is wide and straight. You can tell exactly what's happening & where you are going. It's the one you start out on because it's one your parents can go down with you -- so we were doing that a bunch -- Victor loved it. Felecia would catch him & then help him get started running back up the hill towards the line (he wanted to run into the mulch -- how exactly is that fun?).
Suddenly Victor became interested in the slides on the side -- which are more like traditional curvy slides and mom can't go with.
"Are you sure you want to go? Mommy no go with."
V's head shakes not no -- so that is taken as a yes.
I make sure Felecia is at the bottom to catch him at the new location -- we both schrug in surprise.
He sits down in the slide launch area -- I give him a shove and he's off.
So brave this boy.
Smiling & sitting up he makes it to the bottom.
As we have repeat performances he doesn't always end up sitting up -- he fell on his stomach, going head first - on his back, head first -- but even after he got the stunned look off his face - he would want to do it again....and again...and again.
What fun it is to watch him discover something new, to see him figure out how to test his little boundaries. My job -- to encourage, to give a little push and not let him get over his 21-month little head.
My sweet brave boy -- proud of you!
Still no pictures to share -- my camera is sick but hopefully we'll get it operational before long. Anyone with suggestions for camera lens -- please share!
We've continued to enjoy the island life.
Last night one of Yuri's work vendors had a party at the Hard Rock Cafe for its customers -- so open bar....food & loud music -- it was great. Victor came too -- which was perfect because the music was so loud that if he hooted & hollered, no one noticed -- phew. Hurricanes are easy to drink...Blue Hawaiians aren't as smooth.....and gin & tonic isn't for me. The whole place was closed off for the party -- and it was full of engineers. He he. I love seeing this culture of people because it's so diverse --- there are people who hardly speak a speck of English....to loud frat boy types -- wide range of people. A few women thrown in but it is a overwhelmingly male dominated group.
We waited until the end of the party to see if we could win the cool geeky door prizes -- (handheld PS system...BOSE earphones....a digital picture frame) -- walking home after 8pm (I know we're such rebels) -the street was alive with music, performances of all types and people. A relaxed parade of sorts.
Today we went to the Kialua beach park on the windward side of the island -- it's a great beach. Victor wasn't interested in the water or the sand at first....all he wanted to do was watch the back-ho that was moving sand to open a river to the ocean (the sand fills it in). We sat for at least an hour in various positions watching the sand scooped and moved to a new home. Victor has really become interested in trucks, dirt movers, planes and the like. If it makes a lot of noise --- he likes it.
Yesterday he wasn't interested in the beach as much as he was interested in watching the trash truck.
Traveling with a toddler has me thinking......
- Why don't hotels have family floors set aside as needed -- so that no one is worried about early morning screams or naked kids running down the hallway...
- What about the family airline -- with a ball pit for kids to play in, wider aisles so kids could play on the floor, kid friendly food & movies and a common understanding that kids are a pain on long plane rides and we're all doing the best we can
- Japanese people really seemed drawn to children and really pay attention to Victor -- they will squat down and ruffle his hair, give him a kiss, make silly faces, and talk to him in Japanese with excitement -- I think their culture values children differently perhaps. People who were sternly taking photographs 5 seconds ago will be kneeling eye level with Victor getting silly. Not something I expected! And then there are the teen-age boys who are too cool to make eye contact with Victor, even when he's saying 'hey hey....hi hi hi' to them when we're the only ones in the elevator. No one else is even around to see them be not 101% coo. Oh well.
- Beach time = sleep time = Mom's chance to read.
It won't be long before we're back home and back into our 'normal' routine. But getting out, even if it is with a wrangly one in tow is still good. It isn't the same as a sans baby trip -- but it is still a ton of fun and getting knee deep in sand is more fun than I remember.
Victor is on the mend I believe -- phew. He seems to have a smile now & again and doesn't just want to be held all the time. I did enjoy he cuddly needs but when it was coupled with crying that got kinda old after a while.
Today during a lap session we watched an interesting program about snakes. He was totally into it -- this kid loves animals without a doubt. He has a marvelous sound he makes when he sees an animal -- it's on the high pitched side of things and he'll often say "Hi" at the same time.
He also loves music -- today we were walking to the oil change place & a car passed with a thumping bass --- he stopped walking, started swinging his arms and bouncing up & down on his little legs. So far I would say he likes hip-hop, bluegrass, classic rock & roll and jingles on TV. More than once he's stopped what he's doing when a particularly good jingle is on to bust a move toddler style. Yuri asked today what instrument should we get for him -- drums, keyboard, guitar. After Lynn heard a brief Victor harmonica concert - she mentioned that John Lennon started with the harmonica.....those are big shoes to even consider -- but it's nice to know what these music musings are good for the little guy.
Speaking of musical musings -- does anyone want to join us at a Dan Zanes concert in July ? I think we're going to do the pajama party on Friday night since somehow I'm signed up for the GRE the following morning (WTF...I mean really)
When I heard someone say their child was 20 months (or so) I would cringe -- kids seemed so ucky at that stage -- ornery, dripping and running in 101 different directions. And, yes the boy is ornery, dripping and runs like the wind -- but as I stand knee deep in toddlerhood -- it really isn't so bad after all.
I think what toddlerhood has been like so far reminds me a lot of listening to the radio -- even when there's a bad song, don't stress about it because something good will come on before long.
I could stress, and spend all day changing the channel, getting my panties in a bundle-- but I would never really find that one song I really wanted to hear.
This way -- I'm pleasantly surprised when an old favorite comes on and come to find new songs that get my grove on.
Moods change quickly in toddler world, so I just have to ride out the grumps and whines -- because before long, smiles will emerge. I try to give him a wide berth of opportunities in the house -- today he was happy to mix crackers with several wooden spoons & mashed some crackers to smithereens. He's figured out how to turn the TV on/off, change the channel. He's called 911 and hung up -- they called back...
Taking the radio station metaphor to the next level -- I was thinking about how much I loved the TOP 40 shows on Sundays when I was a kid -- I wonder what the top 40 of toddlerhood would be. Ideas? Thoughts? Please share....I'll have to figure that one out.
Need a diverson -- try this, that and the other thing
Cute moments:
- Emma says "bye-bye Victie" when Victor leaves the babysitter's house.
- He learned about blinking -- and was entralled with my blinking quickly & would laugh and then give me a big hug -- this went on for several minutes.
- Did I mention that Victor hugs are pretty much the coolest thing ever -- we still have the urge to live in his ear because we love him so much -- but we'll have to settle for hugs instead.
- Yuri passed his motorcycle class - so he can ride his Vespa with confidence that he knows safety -- today Victor had pulled off his diaper, so running around comando style at the front door - he watched Yuri zip up the street.
Every day we are learning things in our house. For example today we learned that if Victor is playing with my keys while we're in the grocery store (not out in the parking lot, but inside) and he pushes the red panic button....it will set the alarm off. Yep. Hard to know how long the alarm was going off before we learned about that. Sorry about that if you were at the Harris Teeter at 9:00 this morning (the unGodly time)
We learned that in the spring time you have to give a bath everyday because dirt just sticks to him, and I think he loves it. Dirty little boys are something to behold.
We learned that other parents judging each other can be a real downer. I was at the Target on Friday and a big kid (8-10) was having a melt down. Screaming, rigid body, not making any sense. The mother that tucked him under her arm & was walking out. The lady next to said to me "Tsk, well I never..." I thought to myself, there but by the grace of God go I....or anyone really. Who knows what that kid's needs were, what issues that family was dealing with -- but who am I to tsk! tsk! -- I said a little prayer for them that everything worked out ok -- the child was able to regroup, mom kept her patience and their afternoon went along ok. Sarah had mentioned that our children choose us -- and I thought a lot about that on Friday.
I've also learned that checking in is good. Victor does it all the time. He'll be playing run over, touch me & run back to do what needs to be done in his world. A parent is like a little beacon, a guide and it's always nice to know it isn't too far away. I've learned that my mommy buddies are my beacons as well. I can check in, ask questions, wonder, re-group. I'm thankful that they treat my concerns, questions and rants (here and there) with patience and respect.
I've learned that kids eat free night is a beautiful thing. First, the likelihood of other little wilds is good. This means that no one will bunch their panties if a fry is tossed, someone is eating with their shirt off or ketchup really is a veggie. Second it's good because toddler (at least this one) eating habits change like the clouds. They loved mac n'cheese the other day....today, no way. Chicken tenders....up turned nose....green beans- today, that's where it's at. Last night, no way. So it's nice when you don't have to pay over $5.oo for a basket of fries (cold even) and a chicken tender.
I've also learned that there should be a different size for skinny babies. Around the waist he's 12-18 months, in the leg 24 months. So if he wears his 24 month shorts, they fall off (literally). 12 monthers and the boy is wearing daisy dukes. Not a good look for a little boy. Suspenders....belts....duct tape....I did find overalls at the last consignment sale I went to. I think they will be a good thing for sure.
I've learned that weaning isn't easy for mom & baby. It's the end of an era for us both. Everyday at work I aggregate the news -- Middle East & Africa -- not always known for touchy, rosy news stories. And I as I read, I have urge, deep in my bones to protect Victor from pain, hurt, suffering -- to guide him towards good, opportunity, hope. Being able to breastfeed him, to offer comfort and safety, to offer nourishment that my body knows how to make for him - it's a good thing. In those moments of our day, as I feed him, all is good. But it is time for the process to begin - mostly because I will be traveling without him in May & the breast pump doesn't do as good a job as it did earlier. I don't want to have mastitis in Mexico...not good. I will find new ways to comfort, and he'll learn new ways too. Parenting is a balance of holding on and letting go.
