Lead Baby

Dear Master Tretiakov,
It is with great regret that we have to inform you that you have 29 days to vacate the premises. Although your stay had been uneventful when you first moved in, it has gotten to be a bit much for the current landlord to handle. Apparently, your constant bouncing and jumping has disturbed other tenants in your area and there have been many complaints.
Please understand that we are definitely willing to find you housing VERY closeto your family. It just seems that you are possibly outgrowing your current dwelling. Please be aware that if you have not vacated the premises as ofSeptember 7th, 2005, we will have no choice but to contact the nearest hospital/doctor to have you physically removed.
We wish you the verybest of luck in your move.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

I didn't write this, and that's not my belly -- but was amused by it for quite a while - so I thought I'd share it with y'all.