Lead Baby

On July 1st, Victor thought he wanted to join us. A 4th of July weekend arrival seemed a little too early (10 weeks) so after hanging out in Labor and Delivery for a while, we got to go home and I was told to relax. Yuri took that seriously, and the next day went out and got me a recliner. Not quite grandpa's barco-lounger - but a soft, squishy recliner, saying "this is your chair, sit in it!" So that's what I've done.
Each day I try to get some recliner time in - with the feet up (helps with the swelling). I sleep in it for most of each night because sleeping in bed or on the sofa just doesn't work anymore. I am grateful for my chair.
I try not to watch TV during my feet up time, because I figure 1) I'll be staring at TV more than I'd like in a few weeks with nighttime feedings and 2) I can waste way too much time, which somehow gets me cranky.
I've been reading a bundle - about a book a week or so. I've mastered the library's request system, in fact I have 2 books awaiting me.
Other cool recliner activities --

• Sleeping - or at least staring out the window and daydreaming
• Listening to the radio
• Surfing the net
• Staring at my feet in hopes that I can move the swelling with my eyes - or wondering how long has that dent been in the side of my foot anyway?!
• The Simpson's Hit and Run game has been a recent addition - it's enjoyable - driving games are about as much action as I can handle.

And well - that's about it - I'm sure you all have cool things you could suggest - but for now, that's about all I can handle.

We're into the 34 week mark - 6 weeks (or so) to go. After our run-in with preterm labor - I started setting little gestational goals for us - like make it to 32 weeks - make it to 34 weeks. (I know, I know, like I can really control it) but it somehow helped. I joked that I grounded Victor to his womb - so of course now he'll be late just to spite me.

It's also a new phase where everyone smiles at your, and asks when you're due. I like the smiling part - strangers all over smile with a look of 'bless your heart' and I am happy to smile back. When they ask 'oh geez, when are you due?' that gets a little tiring -- especially because after I tell them 6 more weeks, they often ask 'are you sure there's only one?' or 'you're ready to go now!' There are roadside prophets, and there are roadside obstetricians too. It would be funny though when someone said that - right at that moment if my water did break.

I've been thinking more about the reality of impending parenthood. It's a little of everything - exciting, scary, mind-blowing, awesome. It's a big mystery most of all. I wonder about all the ways our lives will change - how will we cope? How will we enjoy it? What changes will be made in our lives? (Parents are reading this thinking - duh, everything!) I've learned so far in growing this baby is that it is very easy to judge - of course I hate being judged (but find it easy to do - I know, bad, bad Marie) - be it a person's parenting style, or their house that is in a state of chaos and so many other things. I want to try to not harshly judge myself and others (because often judging someone else is more of reflection on yourself) in these coming months. I'll have to be more forgiving about timetables for sure. (I am often frustrated with how long it takes me to get things done lately - of course I'm hauling around my fair share of body mass currently) I have to remember that Victor will only be a baby once, just like he'll only be kicking my insides once too. Enjoy as much as I can.

Tonight we have birth class -- we get to go on the tour of the hospital and learn about c-sections. I have to still write my birthplan formally (which involves the phrase 'I'm not here to be a hero'). I started packing my bag for the hospital - snacks for Yuri and things to wash with post birth.

Well - off to class we go!